thegestianpoet:

"YOU SICK BASTARD" I shout

Jon Snow starts to cry. He has been fighting off this flu for a week and has been eating lots of citrus. He’s doing his best. 

jessabraeshyl:

221btardisxassbutt:

thenotoriousscuttlecliff:

theenigmaofriversong:

wintersoldier-iscoming:

when someone mentions marvel

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When someone mentions Doctor Who

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When someone mentions Sherlock

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When someone mentions Supernatural
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When someone mentions Tolkien

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jlbeattys:

50 shades of shut the fuck up about this book i’ve read better smut written by virgin teenagers for free

voldesnorts:

im-in-wonderland:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

SERIOUSLY THIS SHIT IS AMAZING AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE CANOLA YOU CAN USE OLIVE FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND MY FINE ASS LEGS

" your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic" I AM LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD
shit-thatblows:

massive penguin battle

He speaks in this one.

Jeremy Renner, on what Hawkeye does Avengers 2 ( source )

(Source: queenofthedorks)

I must tell you girls, Tom Hiddleston is the nicest fucking guy on earth," del Toro said during the Legendary Pictures panel, to a swell of shrieks from the audience. "It used to be in the past that you were either nice, or you were good-looking and an asshole. Now that barrier is ruined.

Guillermo del Toro on Tom Hiddleston  (via hiddlesluscious)

(Source: hereforthehair)

iremademyblog:

i’m a good person i deserve to be at comic con